10) Why are men so insensitive?

The majority of men are not socially intelligent. Men do not think like a woman does. Our brains are different and we are brought up differently.

I think you can safely say that most men do not talk as much as women. Talking is a talent women have, men talk but not particularly well. Even when men talk to their friends it is usually disjointed banter. When they make public speeches it is usually prepared well in advance.

Women find it easy to make a conversation and are very adaptable at moving the conversation onto another topic, men struggle to adapt the conversation and can not hold a conversation for as long as women. Of course there are some men that are born with female oriented brains, so there are some exceptions.

The majority of men do not set out to actively offend a woman by saying insensitive things.

They say insensitive things for a number of reasons:
- They word things wrong, so that they sound insensitive. Saying one thing but meaning something different.
- They don't understand what is insensitive to women. When men talk to other men, anything goes. In fact the more outlandish the comments to another man, the more funny other men find it. They forget that women do not like to talk about the same things.
- Women analyse what men say and try to find an inner meaning to what they say. In general there is no inner meaning to what a man says. So men say one thing, women hear something else because they analyse it as if it was a woman talking.
- Then there is the loaded question. Need I say anything about that ladies. Where you ask a question that has no correct answer. That is very cruel and plays on the fact that men are not socially intelligent. Naughty ladies!

9) My breasts are not very big, should I get them enlarged?

The common feeling amongst most men is that big breasts are a source of amusement. As soon as a man sees big breasts the comments and breast jokes can flow with his friends. It’s banter. I must admit to that banter myself. Do I like women with big breasts? Well I like women with a nice personality and at least an average looking body. Some of the women I like have big breasts, some small and some average.

What I am saying is that big breasts are a source of amusement but men do not choose their women on the basis of the size of their breasts. We might ogle Pamela Anderson but do we really want to marry Pamela Anderson, I don’t think so!

And let’s face it, you might have small breasts now, but if you have our baby they will be the size of milk tankers!

Fact: there are men that like big breasts, there are men that like small or average breasts. Most men like women of all sizes.

8) I always attract guys with No Personality. Why?

First all there is no such thing as “No Personality”. All men and women have personalities and they are all unique personalities. “No personality” is an irritating phrase manufactured by women who thought they were super attractive, and they have past this bad phrase onto all women. I used to hear it in the 1990’s and now all women are saying it. Other charming words include loser, geek and nerd. Save these words for men that have been nasty to you, not guys that felt you were so special they built up the courage to approach you.

The chances are that these guys you are attracting are guys that lack a bit of self confidence. Life would be boring if all guys were self confident, they would all have super egos. You may think that “lacking self confidence” equals no personality but how do you know if you don’t get to know them? Quite often these men with no personality just need one woman to boost their self confidence and as soon as they do they turn into very funny, vivacious guys. If you are not interested in these guys that keep approaching you, just politely tell them you are not interested, be flattered by the fact that there are guys interested in you.

I must also point out that he might only be lacking self confidence in approaching women, it does not mean he lacks self confidence in other areas of his life. And let's face it, the reason why he is probably lacking self confidence with women, is because he has had so many dimwits say "Get lost geek". Calling a guy a geek is bad news for you as well. News travels fast amongst his friends and associates that you called him a geek, so you have just ruined your chances with most of the guys in the immediate area. And they will remember if they see you again in another location. Just like women don't like nasty men, men don't like nasty women.

My recommendation though is to give a few of these guys a chance, try something different, spice up your life. Go out with them for anywhere up to a maximum of 1 month, if he is not confident or interesting in that time, then give him the elbow. If you are lucky you might have found a guy that thinks you are a princess for boosting his self confidence and enhancing his personality. If he thinks you are a princess, he will treat you like a princess.

7) How do I find a guy that is not just interested in sex?

That is a very difficult question. Ultimately all men want sex, any man that says otherwise is a liar.

But I presume you mean a man that wants a long term relationship, rather that just a few months of sex or a one night stand. I will explain the things to watch out for.

Flash guys. You know the ones with a BMW sports car (should be screaming out £20,000 in debt), poser, gods gift to women and has a gift when it comes to chatting up women. The women just converge on these guys and his friends. Well you know for a fact that if this guy is surrounded by women, he has got no shortage of interested women. Therefore you can be a bit more intelligent than the average woman and realise this guy is just going to move from one woman to the next. Not the type of guy you want a long term relationship with. Unless you fancy being a single mother, bankrupt because of his flash cars and friends with the dozens of other single mothers he has deceived.

Most women tend to go for the wrong type of men. They always go for men that have girlfriends or are married. That’s a problem. To go out with you, they are usually the unfaithful type that are only interested in sex. Usually they will use you as a bit on the side for a few months without telling their girlfriend or wife. At best they will dump their girlfriend or wife for you, the problem is when the next best woman comes along, you are the one getting dumped.

Unfaithful men can not be reformed so don’t bother with them!

So how do you find the faithful men that are NOT JUST interested in sex. Well you make friends with as many men as possible. Just keep them as friends until you know for certain. Gradually over time they will leak whether they are just interested in sex or whether they want a long term relationship. Believe me there are men out there that want long term relationships, but they won't openly admit it. I am one of the them. Usually the older a man gets the more maturer he gets and the more likely he will be looking for a long term relationship.

You can also pick out from their friends what type of bloke a man is. Usually a friend will say something like “Steven hasn’t had any sex for years, poor guy” Jokingly. You can immediately derive from this sentence that the guy saying it thinks he can get sex whenever he wants and Steven has not had any sex for a while. So to you, Steven should immediately show potential. The chance is if he has gone years without sex, waiting another few months while he is going out with you is not going to make much difference to him. If it does make a difference having to wait for sex then he obviously doesn’t value your relationship, so get rid of him!

My advice is that you never have sex with a guy for the first few dates. This is how you weed out the guys that are interested in you and the guys that are just interested in getting laid. Make him wait at least a month!

6) I end up with guys who want one night stands all the time!

Lessons can be learnt from this. You say you are going out and getting drunk. Drunk women are only attractive to drunk guys. Drunk guys are only interested in sex. Most guys are only interested in sex but drunk guys are more likely to only be interested in sex. They are hardly likely to remember a thing about you the next morning. You are probably wishing you can't remember a thing about them!

You may be an absolutely gorgeous woman when you are sober. But if you go out and get drunk you will only be attractive to a guy who is equally or more drunk than you. The reason I say this is because a sober guy will not find a drunk woman attractive, no matter how attractive you are when you are sober. A drunk woman looks a mess, she talks rubbish and can barely stay on her feet. What man is going to find that kind of woman attractive.

If I turn it round, if you were sober and there was a drunk man trying to chat you up. He can barely walk in a straight line, his words are garbled. Would you be interested?

If you must drink alcohol, drink it in moderation. Don’t listen to your so called friends that want to get you drunk, just so they can tap up the good looking guys while you are laid on the floor, flat on your face.

Alcohol is more likely to make you do something you regret. It is not going to produce a good night, if all you are going to do is go out and get drunk. Let's face it, if he did give you good sex, you probably won't remember it anyway.

My advice is that you never have sex with a guy on the first night of meeting him. This is how you weed out the guys that are interested in you and the guys that are just interested in getting laid. Make him wait!

5) My boyfriend is always going on at me about drinking alcohol!

I think he is scared I am going to get off with another man when I am out clubbing with the girls.

You would be right in saying that. Correct me if I am wrong but the majority of women, when they are sober are not that keen on casual sex. The problem is when women drink alcohol their male testosterone levels quadruple. Testosterone levels increases the desire to have sex, as demonstrated in men! Add to that, the fact that the reasoning part of your brain is switched off by the alcohol. So you may not know it but alcohol is likely to encourage you to have a regrettable one night stand.

If your boyfriend is intelligent and is wanting a long term relationship with you, he may also be concerned about your health. You probably already know about the nasty Sexual Transmitted Diseases, so I won’t bother mentioning them. What many women fail to realise is the damage they are doing to their bodies by drinking alcohol. Alcohol = high male testosterone levels and lower female oestrogen levels. That is not good for your long term fertility.

Add to that the fact that alcohol damages liver and brain cells and you can see why your boyfriend should be concerned about you and every other woman that goes out binge drinking. He does not want an infertile, brainless, unhealthy woman. He cares about you, isn't that a good thing!

4) My boyfriend is rubbish at sex, what can I do?

Encourage him to experiment with your body, so both you and him can find out what is good and what is bad.

Sorry to be crude, but he probably hasn’t had much sexual experience or he hasn’t watched many porn videos or he has watched the wrong type of porn videos.

When something feels good let him know by increasing the level of your moans. Move your body so that he hits the right places. If you want more intense movements move you body towards him. If you want less intense movements, move your body away slightly. Grab hold of his hands and move them to the right places.

Give him eye contact and move your eyes in such a way as to pull him to the right place on your body. Use your eyes to indicate whether you are enjoying what he is doing or not enjoying it.

No fake orgasms, because he will think that you like what he is doing.

Eventually if you give him a bit of coaching you will no longer need to give him any indications about what you want. It is all about body language and communicating what you want and what you don’t want.

If he doesn’t improve after a while of course, you can always get a new boyfriend.

It is amazing how many women expect men to be psychic. He’s not psychic, tell him what you like and what you don’t like.

3) I haven’t got a very attractive body so I am useless with guys!

I don’t believe you. I think what you mean is that you don’t use your body well enough around men. All women have parts of their body that are good and parts that are bad, even super models. The key to attracting men is to show off the good parts and distract them or cover up the bad parts. For example you might have chunky legs, don’t wear a short skirt, but you might have an amazing bust line in which case wear a low cut revealing top. He won’t be paying any attention to your chunky legs because he will be focused on your lovely breasts. And don’t slap a bloke who focuses on your breasts, if he can’t keep his eyes off them, that is a compliment and he can’t help it. Men like breasts, so get used to it!

Hair is another thing. There are such a wide range of hair styles you can have, just enhancing your hair style can make you more confident and more attractive. There have actually been times when I have been talking to a woman with a low cut top and I have been totally focused on her hair when I am talking to her. The reason was her hair was a brilliant style and a brilliant texture. Hair is probably the first thing I look at on a woman, nice hair demonstrates a healthy woman with good personality. I often wish I could run my fingers through her hair and play with it, that's how much I love it!

Clothes. You can cover up the whole of your body and still look brilliant by just wearing the right clothes. Clothes that suit you and make you look sexy. Most men don’t actually know this but if you brush past them and you are wearing a nice textured material, that can feel very nice against a mans skin. He will probably think the fact that you brushed against him attracted his attention, when really his brain was saying that was a nice texture. Whereas wear a sandpaper type material and brush past him and he will probably make sure you don’t come near him again.

Personality. If you exude a confident, friendly personality you will win him over without him paying too much attention to your body. A super model may look good but what man wants to spend the rest of his life with somebody that doesn’t care, has an attitude problem and a miserable personality. The point is the personality and confidence of a woman is far more important than a woman or man realises. If he gets married to you he will have to live with you for the rest of his life. What would he prefer for the rest of his life, a woman with a great body who constantly argues and is miserable and unfaithful. Or a woman with an average body who is friendly, caring and generally happy?

2) Why are Bad Boys a Bad Mistake?

It is amazing the amount of young women who go for the bad boys. I just don’t get it. Speak to a woman who is older than 30 year old and she will give you some good advice about bad boys. If you don’t heed their advice then you are going to go through some serious problems later in life.

Bad boys are very exciting for a few years, will keep you entertained. Will definitely be able to stick up for you. And he will need to stick up for himself because he will constantly be getting into trouble. The devastating blow usually comes after spending 5 years with him. Bad boys can not be reformed and so you will more than likely be left with somebody who is unfaithful, a liar, years of being a liar and getting into trouble will start catching up with him. When things stop going their way they can often turn into violent bad boys and they won't think twice about leaving you and your children for another woman. After 5 years, he will no longer be the exciting boy you knew and you will be wishing you took the advice of your friends.

Bad boys can not be reformed they are always going to be bad boys and even someone as gorgeous as you is not going to change their personality. Bad boys will always be unfaithful, they will always have a bad attitude, they don’t care about anybody but themselves, they will deceive you all the time and some of them may even be violent bad boys. In the unlikely event you do change him from a bad boy, he will no longer appeal to you anymore, because he won’t be the person you met.

Let me tell you this, by the time you are 30, you will be a single mother. He will be using your house as a drop in, for when he is between girlfriends. Don’t even think about claiming child benefit from him, you and all the other single mothers. Just stay well away, these are the one type of men you should call a loser because they treat women like dirt.

1) What is this blog about?

The aim of this blog is to give women some insight into a man's mind. It's a man writing it, so I apologise if my writing style does not suit women. I have written this blog as honestly as possible. The opinions should reflect what the majority of men think about women. But of course I could be wrong in my opinions.

It should indirectly teach you, how to seduce men and also try to understand what men think and how men think. In general though women do not understand men and men do not understand women. We both have a different way of thinking, and unfortunately those thinking patterns clash sometimes!

If you have any questions about men, then please send me a message....