Seduce Men

Insight into a man's mind, written by a man. What do men think of women? Why do men act like they do? This insight should indirectly teach you, how to seduce men and understand what men think and how men think. If you would like to ask a question about men, please leave your question on the comments page and I will try to answer it for you.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

19) How do you tell if a guy fancies you?

It is quite easy for a woman to tell whether a guy fancies them. I would say that most average looking women can expect at least 60% of guys to fancy them. Good looking women can expect that to increase to at least 90%. You probably don't believe me with this, but I base my findings on what my friends and male associates think of women. Of course this is just an initial thought of whether he fancies you. Based on looking across a room and seeing how attractive you are. Sorry to say this, but at this point most guys will be interested in whether "she is worth a shag", to put it bluntly.

The obvious sign that he is interested in you is whether his first lines of communication is a chat up line or an attempt at humour. He is obviously trying to impress you with his wicked sense of humour, not realising that women tend to hate chat up lines and male humour. His voice will be enthusiastic and not low and depressed. Men quite often sound as though they are making a forced, instinctive comment maybe because they are nervous or because they are keen to impress you.

Signs to look out for is whether his feet are pointing towards you, this shows he is paying close attention to you and is not desperate to walk away.

Whether he remembers things about what you said 10 minutes ago, if he is repeating a question that you have already answered, then he wasn't paying attention. A good sign is if he is asking you to elaborate on what you have just said, basically asking you to disclose a bit more information. The majority of men are not particularly good at talking, so what you will be looking out for is whether he is listening to you. In general, men don't bother with conversation unless they feel they are going to get some benefit out of it. These rules are thrown out when you are in a nightclub or disco though, because you can't hear a word anyone says when there is loud music. It's close to impossible to have any form of conversation in a nightclub.

Quite a few men are so bad at talking, you will barely get any words out of him at all. This is particularly the case if he is standing in a group. However you can still look for signs even though he is not talking. He will be focused on you but will be fiddling with his tie. Instead of talking he will exaggerate his laugh, particularly if you say something remotely funny. He will touch his ear lobes to signify he is listening intensely to what you are saying. He will thrust his chest, shoulders and arms out to make himself look more manly.

The less shy men will be trying to touch you on the arm or back whenever they get the chance. Men rarely touch women unless they find them attractive.

It is possible that some men might not find you attractive at first and if he doesn't find you attractive he will not approach you. Therefore you must approach him and attract his attention. You only have to engage in some brief conversation and if that conversation goes well and progresses onto a conversation that he enjoys, he will begin to warm to you. Men like women who are warm and caring and he will be proud of the fact that you thought he was worth talking to. He will gradually move from a closed position turned away from you, folded arms and defensive, and trying to run away, to an open position pointing towards you and listening intensely.

There are things that probably happen so fast you won't notice and they include licking the lips, touching the neck and face briefly, dilated pupils. When he is talking to you he will often rotate looking at your eyes, hair and lips and depending on what you are wearing he will also look briefly at your legs and boobs. Sometimes he will mentally try his best not to look at your boobs, but his brain will not be able to resist at least a few brief glimpses.

Mirroring is a very strong bond between you both. Mirroring basically means making the same or similar movements to the other person. For example you cross your legs then he crosses his legs. There is often a delay of maybe up to a few minutes and he won't mirror everything you do but should mirror most things. It is said that if you are not mirroring what the other person does within 15 minutes then you are not really connecting. If the guy is doing the opposite to mirroring then there is obviously no connection at all. I must also point out that mirroring is not just doing exactly the same things as you, it can be similar movements. So if you swing your hands, he probably won't swing them in exactly the same way but will make a similar hand movement just after you.

Negative body language includes covering his face with his hands, tapping or fiddling violently with objects (rather than caressing an object), playing with his finger nails, looking over your shoulder at someone else, staring into open space when you are talking. Conversation wise he will be giving short and sharp answers to questions and pointing his feet away like he is trying to run away.

6 Comments:

  • At 8/26/2005 1:08 pm, Blogger erosOK said…

    Some of this was very helpful as I am trying to work out if a bloke fancies me and ho to follow up on it if he does. Let me explain: we've known each other for years, but I've been in two, committed, relationships during that time - the second of which broke up two months ago. Before that happened though this bloke and I were getting on better than we ever had (jokes, smiles) and while we didn't talk about what was going on with my relationship he was very sympathetic. Other than that he is known as a bit of a flirt, but it seems very specific with me - in the sense that other people have started to look at me a bit strange when we are together in front of them (possibly because I tend to get rather more of his attention than they do and sometimes when we look at each other as a result of what someone else has said, those eye-contact smiles are a bit 'private' feeling, and we've started standing inside each other's personal space a bit, also we occassionally walk part way home from work together). Anyway, we went to the cinema together to see a German film and I accidentally (honestly, accidentally) rested my arm against his (thought it was the chair back!), being embarrassed - in case he thought I was pushing things - I moved my arm forwards, and then so did he! Needless to say, I didn't move again and though both of us shifted to get comfortable our upper arms stayed in contact until the end of the film. We had coffee and a chat afterwards and I said that I'd had a lovely time and really enjoyed his company, to which he said he had too and we must do it again sometime, to which I said that that would be nice. Since then though things seem to have dropped off - I've mentioned a film I'd like to see (just us) and an art gallery/exhibition that I'm going to with friends (a group and an interest of his) but he's avoided both (in the sense of not clearly saying yes or no but talking about other things). Other than that things are pretty much the same as before (smiles, jokes, interrupting what either of us is doing to have coffee when the other is free) with two differences. Firstly, he has popped down to my office (usually we talk in the staffroom or in his office as I pass it on the way to mine) to see if I'm going for coffee once and secondly, while he started out talking to my face he had recently (pre-cinema) started occassionally looking at my tits (which are quite nice, if I do say so myself! so I wasn't upset by that), now though (and this is making me a bit puzzled/uncomfortable) he's started looking at my midriff/hips sometimes.
    Essentially, I'm confused! I think he fancies me. I fancy him, but don't want to ruin the friendship (which is very good, we can talk about serious family/health stuff - the flirty stuff is a nice added layer on top) by doing something too overt - or plain stupid if he's changed his mind. I just can't get past the fact that he smiles at me as if the sun had come up when he sees me. Help! And thanks.

     
  • At 8/31/2005 1:43 pm, Blogger erosOK said…

    Thanks, I know that you aren't where I am and may not be right but every bit of insight helps. Especially with the body language -I had a friend who suggested he was 'checking out your child-bearing/nurturing capabilities' and I nearly puked: even if you're not right I feel more comfortable with things.
    I think on reflection that I had been a bit too subtle with the invites (so as not to seem pushy myself!), so will bear in mind the male mind and be a bit more obvious next time! You're right about taking a risk and if I don't I don't think he will (he's older than I am, and made a few comments about his age a few weeks ago which seemed designed to see if it bothers me - it doesn't, we get on too well for that - and he's not mentioned it since), so basically this is to say thank you for the suggestions about accidental touching, but if they don't work I'm not going to blame you :-) Interestingly enough he's just nearly (but not quite) touched my arm/back himself while ushering me through a door and now I've paid attention to the 'mirroring' thing it's something we both do unconsciously quite a lot (leg crossing towards each other, hands touching our cheeks, leaning one elbow on our kness) I think we're going to get there! It's unfortunate that he's totally DIY inpractical and doesn't even garden so the more obvious dinner/DVD will have to do. All I need now is an appropriate time and to realise that if I get knocked back its not the end of the world as at least I tried and it may be better to regret doing something than regret doing nothing in this case. Thanks again!

     
  • At 10/06/2005 7:08 pm, Blogger Pam said…

    There is a guy i am on friendly terms with and he's really confusing me.

    I don't really know how to start, i think he likes me, sometimes i think he fancies but then i think i may be mis-reading the signs and he is just being friendly

    I've known him now for several months, he works at an eating place i frequent, he's not a waiter so he wouldn't get any tips.
    He first spoke to me saying he'd seen me on the train i later found out he lives near me and sometimes get the same train.
    Gradually over time when on the same train we'd walk into work together both of us work for different companies but near each other. So we'd talk to each other ask each other questions and all that.

    He also has flirted with me. excuse touching on the arm seveal times, and once on the back.

    Many times when i've gone into his workplace he has told me to get out that i've been banned, followed by a beaming smile.

    There has been eye contact too, more than a couple of seconds worth. On more than one occassion.

    Nothing more has happened which i'm happy with as he is as i've discovered recently married. A path that i don't want to go down.

    How do i know he's married, well he has a mother in law, a ring on THAT finger and a young boy.

    I just want to know what is going on here am i mistaking flirting for plain friendliness.

     
  • At 10/08/2005 9:38 pm, Blogger Pam said…

    Thanks for the reply there.

    It's good to get someone's opinion (in this case a male opinion) from someone impartial (if that's the right word)
    I was worried i might be jumping the gun but from what you said. I'll certainly will limit contact with him. Can't actually cut all contact with him unless i move house and change jobs. Which is unlikely at the moment and not really pratical.
    But certainly will NOT get involved with him.

    Thanks for your imput.

     
  • At 11/04/2005 8:21 pm, Blogger Pam said…

    Yes its me again.

    I have been avoiding contact with this man but he lives near me.
    Caught the same train last week i didn't see him. And he came and sat with me. He never did that before always choosing a seat further away from me.
    He had started talking to me again.
    The week before he told me he had seen me earlier and asked if i was avoiding him. Followed by a gentle punch in the arm.

    anyway last week while sitting with me he asked about my plans for the weekend (he works weekends i don't). I didn't think much about that. Just friendly banter.
    But then he asked if i lived alone. Not if i had a boyfriend or anything. This threw me a little bit.
    People i have spoken to have said i should be wary of this guy.

     
  • At 11/02/2011 3:22 am, Blogger leading said…

    Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.

    How to loss a weight

    bye bye good night
    thanks

     

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