26) What do men think are positive characteristics of women?
Most men and women believe that looks are the most important thing attracting men to women. Whilst a womans body and looks is very important to most men, I personally don't agree that it is the most important point. It is true that if the woman has made no effort to look good and looks ugly then yes a man is not going to find her attractive. Men themselves probably believe that looks are the most important thing, but deep down their unconscious brain is telling them other things are more important.
Here is an example. From a distance a man sees a beautiful woman across the bar, he thinks "she looks hot". He eventually plucks up the courage to go over to her. He says "Hi my name is John". She says "get lost loser". Then suddenly this attractive woman becomes totally unattractive to him. She may have an attractive body, but the idea of attractiveness is the whole package, which includes looks, personality and rapport.
Here is another example. From a distance he sees another beautiful woman across the bar, he thinks "she is a supermodel". He goes over to talk to her. He has a five minute conversation with her. The problem is the conversation keeps drying up and her opinions differ from his. He is finding it very difficult and uncomfortable having a conversation with her. She suddenly becomes less attractive because he can't build up a rapport with her.
Another point about attractiveness is that different men, find different women attractive. Some men like blondes, some like brunettes. Some men like skinny women, some like medium and some even like big women.
Some like women with small breasts, others like women with medium sized breasts and some like women with big breasts. You may think that all men like women with big breasts, but men themselves fail to realise that they don't measure a womans breast size when they are deciding whether to go out with them. Big breasts are really just a source of amusement to men, they can have some banter with their friends about that big pair they have just seen.
Probably the most important concept of ruling out an attractive body as the most important aspect of attracting a man to a woman is the ageing process. Women lose their physical atrractiveness as they age but that does not stop men finding them an attractive partner. Men do not suddenly dump women when they get to a certain age and single men and women still get together even in their 60's.
I think I have justified my point about physical attractiveness, personality and rapport. Now I will try to answer the question of what men think are womens postive characteristics. I will have to break men into two categories to answer this question. i) Men looking for a long term relationship ii) Men looking for sex
i) Men looking for a long term relationship (this is the group I fall into!)
1) Rapport between him and her (the most important point for a long lasting relationship, you need to become best friends, especially if you are going to marry and have children).
2) How talkative she is (Most men are useless at communication, he will want you to fill this gap in his talents. He will need you to be his personal communicator in certain circumstances in his life, he needs you to lead the conversation and cut out those uncomfortable silences).
3) Friendliness (Get lost loser, is the most common words he hears from a womans mouth. He wants someone who is friendly towards him and friendly and amicable towards others. Being friends with other people gets you places in this world. Being aggresive loses friends and gets him into fights. Most men do not want an aggressive, unfriendly woman. The Men that do go for aggressive women, usually realise they have made a big mistake by the time they are 30 year old. And let's face it, if aggressive was attractive, we'd probably be attracted to other men).
4) Caring (He wants someone who can care for his children and care for him when he is ill).
5) Hair (Most men don't know it but the first thing they notice on a woman is her hair or clothes. A woman may have her back to a man or may have long hair which covers her face. The style and texture of her hair is very important. Does the style suit her, is the texture of her hair vibrant and silky looking. Nice Hair denotes good hair, hygiene, confidence and can actually make a woman look 10 times more physically attractive than they did with their last haircut).
6) Clothes (Always dress in clothes which emphasise the good parts of your body and distract from the bad parts of your body. Clothes can mean the difference between an attractive woman and unattractive woman. I have seen women that I was not attracted to one night, the same women out the next night in a stunning outfit and I am absolutely besotted and can't believe it is the same woman as the night before).
7) Laughs (we don't want to spend our lives with a bore. Do you make us laugh? And do you laugh at our jokes? Women have a far different sense of humour to men. Men are more diverse and can actually find a womans sense of humour funny, though they usually can't tell female type jokes. Whereas women tend to find mens jokes offensive and definitely can't tell male type jokes. So in general it depends on how adaptable the man is to try and suppress his male sense of humour, create a few female jokes and also laugh at the female jokes that spout out of the womans mouth).
8) Face (To me, Jennifer Anniston does not have a particularly good looking face. What attracted Brad Pitt to marry her was her rapport with him, talkative/friendly nature, sense of humour, great looking hair and taste in clothes. And that is why the face is low down in my estimations of what men find attractive in women).
9) Body (Her body is fairly important, but lets face it once she has had a few of our babies, it is probably not going to be as attractive. What a body should demonstrate is the health of a woman, not too thin which would demonstrate malnurishment, not too fat which would demonstrate a lack of fitness and unhealthy lifestyle. In general a nice body might be the thing that draws our attention across a bar, but we are going to have to spend the rest of our life with this women, so surely personality and rapport is going to be more important. Supermodels have superb bodies, would I like to spend the rest of my life with a supermodel? I don't think so. In general as long as she at least has an average body, her personality is far more important).
10) Smiles (Very important, particularly in the early stages. Smiles help show an interest in someone and help show a friendliness towards them. Long term it denotes that you are happy and are likely to pass on that happiness to him and any children).
ii) Men looking for sex
1) How likely she will have sex with him
2) Her personality (personality is still fairly important, because he needs to be able to get on well with you in order to persuade you to have sex).
3) Her hair (this gives his unconscious brain an idea of how much you look after the personal hygiene of other parts of your body!)
4) Her face (whilst he will say to his friends that he will visualise a paper bag over your head if you are unattractive, in reality he would much prefer someone relatively attractive to have sex with).
5) How attractive her body is (while this is the least important point for men looking just for sex, he still wants someone who looks reasonably presentable).
Here is an example. From a distance a man sees a beautiful woman across the bar, he thinks "she looks hot". He eventually plucks up the courage to go over to her. He says "Hi my name is John". She says "get lost loser". Then suddenly this attractive woman becomes totally unattractive to him. She may have an attractive body, but the idea of attractiveness is the whole package, which includes looks, personality and rapport.
Here is another example. From a distance he sees another beautiful woman across the bar, he thinks "she is a supermodel". He goes over to talk to her. He has a five minute conversation with her. The problem is the conversation keeps drying up and her opinions differ from his. He is finding it very difficult and uncomfortable having a conversation with her. She suddenly becomes less attractive because he can't build up a rapport with her.
Another point about attractiveness is that different men, find different women attractive. Some men like blondes, some like brunettes. Some men like skinny women, some like medium and some even like big women.
Some like women with small breasts, others like women with medium sized breasts and some like women with big breasts. You may think that all men like women with big breasts, but men themselves fail to realise that they don't measure a womans breast size when they are deciding whether to go out with them. Big breasts are really just a source of amusement to men, they can have some banter with their friends about that big pair they have just seen.
Probably the most important concept of ruling out an attractive body as the most important aspect of attracting a man to a woman is the ageing process. Women lose their physical atrractiveness as they age but that does not stop men finding them an attractive partner. Men do not suddenly dump women when they get to a certain age and single men and women still get together even in their 60's.
I think I have justified my point about physical attractiveness, personality and rapport. Now I will try to answer the question of what men think are womens postive characteristics. I will have to break men into two categories to answer this question. i) Men looking for a long term relationship ii) Men looking for sex
i) Men looking for a long term relationship (this is the group I fall into!)
1) Rapport between him and her (the most important point for a long lasting relationship, you need to become best friends, especially if you are going to marry and have children).
2) How talkative she is (Most men are useless at communication, he will want you to fill this gap in his talents. He will need you to be his personal communicator in certain circumstances in his life, he needs you to lead the conversation and cut out those uncomfortable silences).
3) Friendliness (Get lost loser, is the most common words he hears from a womans mouth. He wants someone who is friendly towards him and friendly and amicable towards others. Being friends with other people gets you places in this world. Being aggresive loses friends and gets him into fights. Most men do not want an aggressive, unfriendly woman. The Men that do go for aggressive women, usually realise they have made a big mistake by the time they are 30 year old. And let's face it, if aggressive was attractive, we'd probably be attracted to other men).
4) Caring (He wants someone who can care for his children and care for him when he is ill).
5) Hair (Most men don't know it but the first thing they notice on a woman is her hair or clothes. A woman may have her back to a man or may have long hair which covers her face. The style and texture of her hair is very important. Does the style suit her, is the texture of her hair vibrant and silky looking. Nice Hair denotes good hair, hygiene, confidence and can actually make a woman look 10 times more physically attractive than they did with their last haircut).
6) Clothes (Always dress in clothes which emphasise the good parts of your body and distract from the bad parts of your body. Clothes can mean the difference between an attractive woman and unattractive woman. I have seen women that I was not attracted to one night, the same women out the next night in a stunning outfit and I am absolutely besotted and can't believe it is the same woman as the night before).
7) Laughs (we don't want to spend our lives with a bore. Do you make us laugh? And do you laugh at our jokes? Women have a far different sense of humour to men. Men are more diverse and can actually find a womans sense of humour funny, though they usually can't tell female type jokes. Whereas women tend to find mens jokes offensive and definitely can't tell male type jokes. So in general it depends on how adaptable the man is to try and suppress his male sense of humour, create a few female jokes and also laugh at the female jokes that spout out of the womans mouth).
8) Face (To me, Jennifer Anniston does not have a particularly good looking face. What attracted Brad Pitt to marry her was her rapport with him, talkative/friendly nature, sense of humour, great looking hair and taste in clothes. And that is why the face is low down in my estimations of what men find attractive in women).
9) Body (Her body is fairly important, but lets face it once she has had a few of our babies, it is probably not going to be as attractive. What a body should demonstrate is the health of a woman, not too thin which would demonstrate malnurishment, not too fat which would demonstrate a lack of fitness and unhealthy lifestyle. In general a nice body might be the thing that draws our attention across a bar, but we are going to have to spend the rest of our life with this women, so surely personality and rapport is going to be more important. Supermodels have superb bodies, would I like to spend the rest of my life with a supermodel? I don't think so. In general as long as she at least has an average body, her personality is far more important).
10) Smiles (Very important, particularly in the early stages. Smiles help show an interest in someone and help show a friendliness towards them. Long term it denotes that you are happy and are likely to pass on that happiness to him and any children).
ii) Men looking for sex
1) How likely she will have sex with him
2) Her personality (personality is still fairly important, because he needs to be able to get on well with you in order to persuade you to have sex).
3) Her hair (this gives his unconscious brain an idea of how much you look after the personal hygiene of other parts of your body!)
4) Her face (whilst he will say to his friends that he will visualise a paper bag over your head if you are unattractive, in reality he would much prefer someone relatively attractive to have sex with).
5) How attractive her body is (while this is the least important point for men looking just for sex, he still wants someone who looks reasonably presentable).
posted by Anonymous @ 9:39 pm
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