24) Why won't he say "I love you"?

On a second date with a woman I was surprised that she decided to ask me the most difficult question that you could ask a man. She asked "Do you love me?" I paused for a moment to figure out what I was going to say. Do I lie and say yes? or do I tell the truth and say no, is this a loaded question with no correct answer I was thinking?

I collected my thoughts and said "I don't know yet, this is only our second date". This came from my heart and was the truth, I could not possibly tell a woman on the second date whether I love her or not. Asking me just creeped me out completely and put me in an awkward position, where I did not know what to say. Her manner just completely changed when I gave my reply, all of a sudden she just went into a stroppy mood. In the end she just ended up walking out. I thought maybe she just wanted a way to end the date, so she decided to sabotage it. This idea was thrown out the window a few weeks later, when she contacted me again and said she would give it another go. As if I had done something wrong by telling her the truth and she was giving me a second chance.

So why did I have so much difficulty saying the words "I love you"? Well first of all I would have been lying, second of all she was asking me far too soon, after just two dates. Most important of all to a man it would have signalled a new era in the relationship where you move from dating to an extreme closeness where both of you have to contact each other everyday and know what each other is doing. I would not have had a problem saying the words I love you, if I meant it, if we were in an established relationship and if I was prepared to move the relationship onto the next stage.

In General though, men hate the words "I love you", men hate emotional stuff!

• There are men that will say "I love you" just to please you, when they don't mean it.
• There are men that will say "I love you" and mean it.
• There are men that won't say "I love you" because they can't say it with meaning.
• There are men that won't say "I love you" because they find it too difficult to say those words.
  

All men will particularly hate saying the words "I love you" in front of their male friends. Men hate emotional things and by saying it in front of their friends it makes them look and sound like a wimp and means their friends will be making fun of them up until the point where your relationship has ended.

My advice: don't ask him too early on in the relationship whether he loves you. Men who really are in love with you, will usually pluck up the courage to say it to you eventually anyway, when they feel right saying it and when they are not with their friends or in a public place. Most men find it difficult to express emotional stuff, so don't make it even more difficult for him. They won't be saying those words because they enjoy saying them, they will be saying them because they want to please you.

If he says that he can't answer that yet, at least he is being honest. He does not want to say "I love you" because he is confused and because he thinks he won't mean it. At least if he says "I love you" in the future you know he means it!

To women "I love you" are powerful words, to a man, it is just boring emotional stuff, that he prefers not to deal with, but he has to say "I love you" to satify a woman's needs.

23) Why do men like Porn and what are Wet Dreams?

The majority (but not all) of men absolutely love porn. They certainly won't admit they like it to women or in public because it is still perceived as shameful. They are scared that a woman will dump them if they admit that they like porn. This is one of the things where men just dare not tell the truth, even if they are usually an honest man. It is therefore usually a very awkward subject to bring up with your boyfriend. The best way to approach it is if you also like porn, show him some of your favourite porn. Then ask him if he likes porn, he is then more likely to give you an honest answer. There are some men that don't like porn or haven't seen porn but I can certainly say they are in the minority.

I tend to flirt between two views of porn. Some days I think I wish it did not exist and then it would not be so tempting because it can become an addictive drug. I also think that it gives men an unrealistic view of women and puts too much expectations on girlfriends to perform certain fantasies for men.

Other days I think it is a very good thing to have, when you consider mans problems with hormones. Men have very high levels of testosterone and find it very difficult to control their sexual desires. Porn basically gives them the ability to release these hormones without harming women. The build up of hormones in a mans body can be compared with a Champagne bottle with a loose cork, that is being shaken vigourously, the pressure builds up to the extent where the cork has to pop at some point. So the good side of porn is that it enables men to see the fantasies that he is never going to be able to perform and also relieve a man when he is not getting any sex.

When men don't view porn they end up having wet dreams, for some reason that sperm just has to leave the body somehow whether it is through having a wet dream, through masturbation or through sex. I can't stand wet dreams because you wake up in the middle of the night sweaty, with wet clothes and wet sheets. In the middle of the night you usually have to change sheets, wash yourself, change clothes, have a drink of water, urinate to get rid of the sperm still stuck inside your tubes (otherwise we end up with an infection). Then it's difficult to get back to sleep and you wake up in the morning with something close to a hangover. And when you experience this anywhere from once a week to once every two weeks it becomes very irritating.

Has a man ever been very adventurous in bed. He has done something that you absolutely loved or absolutely hated. Well he more than likely learnt this from a porn video. Porn teaches men to be a bit more adventurous in bed. It gives him some experience of seeing different positions and trying different fantasies. In most cases this will benefit you because the more different things he tries on you, the more likely he will find something that gives you a heavenly orgasm.

The problem is that much of the porn he sees is made for a mans satisfaction so he is equally more likely to do things you absolutely hate. But you can make it known to him that you don't like it and he can then move onto the next alternative. The problem is, he sees women in these porn videos have fake orgasms and looking as though they are actually enjoying what is happening. Whether female porn stars actually enjoy what they are doing, I can't answer! But he is more than likely to pick up bad habits as well as good habits. This is not a bad thing because you can just make sure he knows not to do the bad things and performs the good things instead.

Then there are the health issues. Often when I have gone too long without getting the sperm out of my body, I have ended up with epididymitis or urine infections. Most probably caused by old sperm dying inside my tubes and clogging the insides. (Sperm dies after so long and that is probably the reason why we get the urge to get it out of our bodies every so often). The other reason is much more serious because it is said that a man who is sexually inactive has an increased chance of getting Prostate and testicular Cancer.

Another debatable reason men put forward for porn is that the penis is a muscle and that muscle needs to be exercised ready for pleasing women. Whether exercising it on a regular basis makes a difference I don't know?

One last word of advice is, don't ask to view his porn unless you are open minded and ready for a shock. Male porn is far different to porn targeted at females. Men have different minds to women and that is reflected in the type of porn they like. Male porn does not usually have any storyline and is usually quite aggressive and roar sex (from a womans point of view). But if you want you can show him your porn, and if you masturbate as well don't be ashamed of him finding out. In most cases men find it a turn on if they find out women masturbate, he might even ask to watch you. Let's face it, men have to hide the fact that we masturbate, if he finds out you do as well, it will be a relief to him.

22) Why most men hate Soap Operas?

After reading through magazines, watching movies and watching the latest edition of soap operas your imagination runs wild. You start to think that I want a life like that or I hope that never happens to me. The reality is that our life is nothing like a movie or a soap opera. There maybe some things in the soap that happen to you but in general whatever appears on TV is not reality.

Ok so men like factual things and hate anything emotional. The emotional nature and lack of facts in a soap are probably the biggest reasons for men disliking Soaps, but they are not the only reasons.

The majority of men absolutely hate soap operas because they know that women are going to compare their lives with what is happening on the latest soap opera. Women for some reason want to relive most of the moments on the soap opera. Fair enough they have conversations with their friends about what's happened on the latest edition of Coronation Street. But don't make the big mistake and think your life should be like a soap opera or a movie.

Life in reality is full of good times and bad times. Life would be boring if it was easy. But don't make life any harder than it already is by being a drama queen. Sometimes men find these drama moments entertaining but go over the top and he will find them annoying. Too much drama or inflating an issue too far and sorry he will be thinking (manipulative, devious witch) maybe I am going out with the wrong woman.

Equally so women who reckon that they should experience all the good times that their latest soap character has experienced are also very naive. While there is nothing wrong with reminding him to be romantic every now and then, don't bombard him with the your latest fad as seen on Coronation Street every week. That's tacky, annoying and makes him feel as though he is worthless to constantly compare him with a movie star or soap star. Comparing him every once in a while is fine but don't constantly put him down, because you wouldn't like it if he did the same to you.

The reality of real life is the challenge of bringing up children, balancing your finances, buying a house, shopping for groceries etc. Balanced with some very exciting times such as wedding days, honeymoons, romantic dates, when your child first walks or talks, when your child gets married and continues the next generation of your family.

When he is not working on the latest movie, even Brad Pitt has to think about the more mundane things in life. So don't try to make your life like a fantasty story on TV.

21) Why do men call women bad names?

You may have heard men call women all sorts of bad names. Usually it is when talking to other men about their women. Even as a man, it is difficult to say whether a man really means some of things he says or whether he is just acting macho to his friends. But certainly in some circumstances the things they say are to hide their true feelings about a woman.

The fact is that women are more fussy when choosing a man. A man is less fussy but is also prone to using a woman for sex. Quite often a friend will say "what happened with the blonde the other night". A man will usually reply with something macho "she turned out to be a bitch" or "she was just a shag". It is hard to understand whether this is a true statement of their feelings or whether it is a displacement of their true feelings. What you are unlikey to hear a man say to another man is "she turned me down because I was not her type", that is just too emotional for a man and admits to his friend that he has been rejected. So although he says those phrases, they might actually be hiding the fact that he is really disappointed because the more fussy woman has rejected him.

Another common circumstance where he will call a woman bad names, is where she has been cheating on him. Again he fails to tell his friend in an emotional manner because men hate emotions. He will tell his friends: "she was a slapper/slut anyway". Again this is jumping over the fact that he has been cheated on and rejected. Also by insulting her with a name and telling everybody else she is a slapper/slut he is turning his mind around to the fact that he is not going to miss her and he should move onto someone else, whilst also getting his revenge by telling other people.

In conclusion, a man does have feelings, he just does not like displaying these feelings to anybody else. He deals with situations like this by convincing himself that the woman was not worth the bother anyway, it's his only coping mechanism.

Of course if the relationship has progressed to the love stages, he will be far more frustrated. Dopamine and other brain chemicals are involved and he will display much more aggressive, emotional and frustrated symptoms. I don't know enough about the chemical reactions in the brain when we fall in love and when we split up, so I will refrain from trying to describe this process.

20) What car should he have?

Women rightly realise that the type of car he drives, says a lot about him. Unfortunately women have a very narrow view and think new, flash, expensive sports car is the best option. It maybe the best option for some women but definitely not for all women.

If you bear in mind I am talking about single men in this article. My opinion is based on actual guys that I know. It may seem as though I am attacking their personalities but I'm not, I am simply stating what a woman should be thinking about when judging the type of car he drives.

New car: This tells you that this man is looking to impress his friends, he needs his car to impress his personality and show his status. He is also not very good with money. He has just bought a car that has depreciated by £2000 just after driving it off the forecourt. This guy is probably going to have difficulty managing his finances. He seems so obsessed with impressing his friends, that he has forgot about the financial investment of buying a car. Whether he is rich or not he has just thrown away a few thousand pounds. Unless it is a company car of course.

Four wheel drives and vans: These are guys that want to be seen to be masculine. Look here I have a masculine vehicle. An aggresive driver who doesn't really give a damn about anybody else on the road. Maybe a bit of a self centered, aggressive, assertive guy then or maybe lacking self confidence in other areas of his life?

Sports car: Likes to live a dangerous, exciting life. The problem is, does he have any brains?There is a speed limit, so what is the point in buying an expensive car that does 200mph. To show off of course. This guy is obviously a complete poser who absolutely adores himself. Don't expect him to adore you. If you hear him saying "you look great today", he is obviously looking in the mirror at himself.

Loads of accesories: You know what I mean by loads of accessories. They are obviously trying to customise their car to add their personality to it. This is a very bold person, that it is not frightened to show their personality. Unfortunately they will find it very difficult to sell their car to someone with a different personality. Maybe making the statement that I can't afford a flash car, so I'll stick a few accessories on to make it look good.

Medium sized car, few years old, low to average price: We are talking Fiat Puntos, Vauxhall Corsas, Ford Fiestas. This guy is good with his finances, sensible and does not have any interest in impressing anybody. He has chosen a car for it's real purpose to transport him from one place to another.

17-24 year old with flash car: You know that this guy either has wealthy parents or a £10,000 loan. Most likely to be a £10,000 loan. If you can imagine that only 5% of the British population can afford to pay cash for a £10,000 car. About 4% of those are over 40 year old. That leaves 1% of people between the ages of 17-40 who can afford to pay cash on an expensive car. Get married to this man and you are inheriting his debts. He is only 17-24, now imagine what the debts will be like by the time he is 40 and you have kids.

Why do you buy a car? You buy a car to transport you from one place to another. The car needs to be comfortable, economical and reliable. Add anything else to your list and you are making emotional and psychological statements that you are trying to impress people or you feel like you will get an emotional buzz out of buying something fancy.

19) How do you tell if a guy fancies you?

It is quite easy for a woman to tell whether a guy fancies them. I would say that most average looking women can expect at least 60% of guys to fancy them. Good looking women can expect that to increase to at least 90%. You probably don't believe me with this, but I base my findings on what my friends and male associates think of women. Of course this is just an initial thought of whether he fancies you. Based on looking across a room and seeing how attractive you are. Sorry to say this, but at this point most guys will be interested in whether "she is worth a shag", to put it bluntly.

The obvious sign that he is interested in you is whether his first lines of communication is a chat up line or an attempt at humour. He is obviously trying to impress you with his wicked sense of humour, not realising that women tend to hate chat up lines and male humour. His voice will be enthusiastic and not low and depressed. Men quite often sound as though they are making a forced, instinctive comment maybe because they are nervous or because they are keen to impress you.

Signs to look out for is whether his feet are pointing towards you, this shows he is paying close attention to you and is not desperate to walk away.

Whether he remembers things about what you said 10 minutes ago, if he is repeating a question that you have already answered, then he wasn't paying attention. A good sign is if he is asking you to elaborate on what you have just said, basically asking you to disclose a bit more information. The majority of men are not particularly good at talking, so what you will be looking out for is whether he is listening to you. In general, men don't bother with conversation unless they feel they are going to get some benefit out of it. These rules are thrown out when you are in a nightclub or disco though, because you can't hear a word anyone says when there is loud music. It's close to impossible to have any form of conversation in a nightclub.

Quite a few men are so bad at talking, you will barely get any words out of him at all. This is particularly the case if he is standing in a group. However you can still look for signs even though he is not talking. He will be focused on you but will be fiddling with his tie. Instead of talking he will exaggerate his laugh, particularly if you say something remotely funny. He will touch his ear lobes to signify he is listening intensely to what you are saying. He will thrust his chest, shoulders and arms out to make himself look more manly.

The less shy men will be trying to touch you on the arm or back whenever they get the chance. Men rarely touch women unless they find them attractive.

It is possible that some men might not find you attractive at first and if he doesn't find you attractive he will not approach you. Therefore you must approach him and attract his attention. You only have to engage in some brief conversation and if that conversation goes well and progresses onto a conversation that he enjoys, he will begin to warm to you. Men like women who are warm and caring and he will be proud of the fact that you thought he was worth talking to. He will gradually move from a closed position turned away from you, folded arms and defensive, and trying to run away, to an open position pointing towards you and listening intensely.

There are things that probably happen so fast you won't notice and they include licking the lips, touching the neck and face briefly, dilated pupils. When he is talking to you he will often rotate looking at your eyes, hair and lips and depending on what you are wearing he will also look briefly at your legs and boobs. Sometimes he will mentally try his best not to look at your boobs, but his brain will not be able to resist at least a few brief glimpses.

Mirroring is a very strong bond between you both. Mirroring basically means making the same or similar movements to the other person. For example you cross your legs then he crosses his legs. There is often a delay of maybe up to a few minutes and he won't mirror everything you do but should mirror most things. It is said that if you are not mirroring what the other person does within 15 minutes then you are not really connecting. If the guy is doing the opposite to mirroring then there is obviously no connection at all. I must also point out that mirroring is not just doing exactly the same things as you, it can be similar movements. So if you swing your hands, he probably won't swing them in exactly the same way but will make a similar hand movement just after you.

Negative body language includes covering his face with his hands, tapping or fiddling violently with objects (rather than caressing an object), playing with his finger nails, looking over your shoulder at someone else, staring into open space when you are talking. Conversation wise he will be giving short and sharp answers to questions and pointing his feet away like he is trying to run away.

18) Which type of man should I go for?

I don't really think there is a correct answer to this, because different men are right for different women.

I fancied a lass at work and for years I tried my best to chat her up and I think she actually fancied me as well. The problem was we could never seem to have a proper conversation together. We either spoke at the same time and interrupted each other or we could not think of anything to keep the conversation going. Whenever we did anything we were never synchronized to what the other person was doing. For example I would reach over to offer her something just as she begun to look in the other direction. Initially it was probably because we were both nervous. However the ultimate fact was that we were not made for each other, even though we found each other attractive and we tried our best to get together it was never going to work. We should have been showing some synchronization after a few months of knowing each other. We should have been having free flowing conversation in a relaxed manner. We could not demonstrate either of those after a few years so we should have given up on each other and moved on a long time ago.

The type of man you want is someone who can pass as your best friend. Who instinctly knows what you enjoy and what you don't enjoy.

Women focus far too much on material things when they are looking for a man. They want a guy with a flash car, a brilliant job, smart clothes, a man popular with other women, famous guys from the movies or a football player. Instead they should focus more on who is compatible with them. You can't possibly say that a man that other women fancy is going to be a good match for you. Are you really going to fancy every Premiership football player you set eyes on? A guy with a flash car, smart clothes and high status may look good when you are showing off to your friends, but is he really the man for you? Is he going to stick around through the good times and bad times or is he going to move onto his next woman when the going gets tough?

Think about what you want from a man in the long term. You want a man that will make a good father and a good husband. He needs to be caring (not a bad boy), reliable, sensible, fun, faithful and somebody you can discuss your feelings with. Not some macho, show off who is always attracting the attention of other women and can't resist other women.